Channeling My Energy Elsewhere

Keri Hilson is a woman of many labels. Supermodel gorgeous with serious leg cleavage as her strongest physical trait in a man's eyes, Hilson is also a supreme songwriter (she's a top member of the ATL-based songwriting clique The Clutch) who is stepping out there as a singer with her album that's set to drop shortly "In a perfect world." Her lead single "Energy" adds a new title to her list of credits for this blogger - Superheroine.

As anyone who has read my personal blog (The Post Game Show) knows, I spend entirely too much time angry, hurting, sad, shedding silent tears, punching walls, etc., over women who could care less about me. Basically I'm expending a ton of - yep, you guessed it - energy on something I can't control right now. When I first listened to this song in depth, it was one of those cathartic, climactic moments that ended with me thinking, "YES! I owe myself SO much more!" The bridge is what I mean, when she sings "now, I can feel you changing me, and I can't afford to slip much further from the person I was meant to be."

That bolded statement is key because what she's saying is, "I have things that I have to do for myself and right now, you're holding me back from doing those things." I swear, I take that passage of the song to heart nowadays because I know that while I am getting older (as if 27 is elderly), I can't make something happen that's not there. Right now, women aren't feeling me, and even worse, I haven't figured out what there is for me to like about myself. I can be thankful that my pursuit of women and sex hasn't interfered with my professional life, which is what should be the most important thing right now. So I guess it is finally time to spend time with me, get comfortable in my own company and develop the self-love that is necessary to survive. Whatever happens with women happens. I have to live with myself forever, might as well learn to love Chris as he is.

So thanks to Keri Hilson, "I'm not afraid to walk alone," but I really won't be walking alone. I'll be with someone special who has needed my love the whole time. And that's a cause worth spending my energy on.